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Show Notes

Last time we discussed expressing God’s love to those who are unlovely. Specifically, the one who cheated me out of money. Time was spent discussing how prayer is one expression of God’s love. Yet, how can I honestly ask God to bless the one who cheated me? This makes no sense. This is not fair. This is not just. How can this prayer ever be sincere? That is what we are going to explore here in episode 9.

My name is Charles, and this is the Simple Not Shallow Podcast. A podcast for those who want a deeper faith, not a confusing one. That is what our name is about, keeping faith in Christ simple enough for a child like me to understand it and yet, not so shallow that when the storms of life hit, our faith runs aground. 

How is this done? The simple answer… Forgiveness.

How can we forgive? By remembering how much we have been forgiven. In Matthew, there is a story that relates how important forgiveness is to God. In this story, a king forgave his servant but that servant did not forgive others. But his servant should have forgiven. The king showed mercy to his servant; his servant should have shown mercy. He didn’t and there was a huge price to pay (Matthew18:21-35). By forgiving and showing mercy, we are honoring God’s love and mercy by extending it to others.

This is not easy. It requires you to leave the shallows and journey forth on the depths of God’s love. In other words, spiritually speaking, this requires that you grow up. To realize that God’s love and his mercy are not limited in their application to you. They require you to apply them to others.

I have heard it objected, “I cannot forget what they have done! I cannot forgive this person.” This thought comes from an unfortunate yet popular phrase; “Forgive and Forget.” Meaning that for our forgiveness to be authentic, we must forget the wrong that has been done.

I think this has its basis in Psalm 103:12 and Jeremiah 31. In the first passage, God says he removes our sin as far as the east is from the west. In the second, he states that he will not remember them. I also think this tends to be used as a means of either escaping or wanting to impose consequences. To escape when used by the guilty party; to impose when used by the one who has been hurt.

Whatever the basis, there are problems with this type of forgetfulness. First, it is always God who says he will remember sins no more; we are not God. Second, while God commands us many times to forgive others, he never commands us to forget. Third, in terms of consequences, each of these positions is selfish; there is a profound lack of consideration for the other person. And fourth, God’s love and mercy are not found in selfish motivations.

Also, it is informative that when the Bible is looked at, in its entirety, the main thought behind forgiveness is that our sins are not held against us. For instance, in Romans, Paul teaches that sin is not accounted against us (Romans 4:8). Our sin is not counted against us, a pardon has been granted, the guilt has been removed, and in this sense, they are forgotten. The meaning is not a lack of memory, such as when we might forget to brush our teeth or to turn off a boiling pot of water. Rather, it concerns a lack of deserved condemnation. A wise friend once shared a very intriguing thought; it is precisely because we cannot forget that Jesus so often commands us to love and forgive.

Forgetfulness is also absent in Paul’s description of what love does in 1 Corinthians 13. Which says, Love is patient and is kind. Love doesn’t envy. Love doesn’t brag, is not proud, doesn’t; behave itself inappropriately, doesn’t seek its own way, is not provoked, takes no account of evil; doesn’t rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things. Love never fails” (12 Corinthians 13:4 – 8).

Ok, did you notice that causing wrongs to be forgotten is not listed? It does say that love “takes no account of evil” (1 Cor 13:5). Sounds similar to the Romans passage (Romans 4:8) does it not? Love makes them of no account; they took place but the deserved guilt is gone. This is not the same as truly being forgotten. An important difference in words.

So, to forgive does not mean to pretend the wrong did not occur. Nor does it mean to forget the wrong occurred. It means we are not to hold wrongs done against those who have done them. Even as God has forgiven us, so we must forgive others “and pray for those who persecute you” (Matthew 5:44). An important note. This also does not mean that there are no consequences for wrongs done to you. There is a difference between not holding a wrong against someone and being wise enough to know, even with this being so, that the consequences for these actions must be enforced. Even if that means no longer relating to them. This takes wisdom, which we are encouraged to ask God for (James 1:5).

So, prayerfully focus on loving, forgiving, and extending God’s mercy. Ask for wisdom and leave the consequences in God’s hands (Romans 12:19).

Ask him to help you forgive. Then, once you have forgiven, ask God for wisdom in how to relate or not relate to those who have wronged you. Do not selfishly decide, ask God for wisdom and direction. Ask for his wisdom and you will receive it. Seek his guidance and you will find it (Matthew 7:7,8).

Ask him for the wisdom to love simply, love wisely, love well.

Well, what do you think? I’d love to hear from you, so please, go to simplenotshallow.com, and under the Simple Not Shallow Podcast section, find this episode, #9, and leave a comment for me there. Also, in the show notes, I’ll list all the verses I referenced, in the order and at the location in the transcript at which I referenced them. That way you can check me out to make sure I’m not totally in left field.  Also, please take a second to rate this episode and subscribe to this podcast through iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify… or whichever service you use. Thank you. I’ll catch you next time.